When I hear people talk about being molested by a close relative, mentor, Friend,father etc I just used to imagine how awkward or unbelievable it sounds to the listener or to those the victims are confinding in. They tend to listen to you in disbelief, in shock or even blame you secretly for consenting.
Those were my exact reactions when I heard for the first time Surviving “R kelly” maybe for the love of his music the charismatic and charming person I thought he was. I unconsciously wished all this stories away, I made excuses for him, I even stupidly blamed the white for trying to bring down or destroy our R Kelly’s career yes those where my exact reactions until I clicked the video that has been popping up in my face on YouTube. So I did my research back to the 90s stories with A Aliyah’s days ( May her soul rest in Peace) Hmmmm this is scary. sadly this Guy deserves to be in jail and also receive an intense therapy and treatment from a psychiatrist for he is suffering from a psychiatric disorder.
BUT I want to move away from R kelly a bit and establish a discussion on :
“Sex and Career” I choose to surround my article on that because referring to our case study R kelly” , he was able to inflict pain on these young girls now women because he was or is at a position to help this ladies build a career in the music or on the wider coverage entertainment industry. I am not going to centre this on women as Victim alone because I have men complain about sexual harassment just to climb up the career ladder.
I had an argument with my 16 year old son. I said to him since this isn’t a rape case it’s a matter of I want to be build and be successful in my chosen career and the gate that leads to my career success is in a form of a Boss, Superior, Mentor or Sponsor is a sexual harraser, why not walk away to something else and come back to it again and maybe the gatekeeper to my career might have been replaced with a professional that understands and see potential in me. Why scumb to sexual harassment and then regret it later in life and then come back years later to fight my molestor. I believe in walking away.
” He said to me its easy to say that because you have a resiliant spirit. It’s not everyone that has that. Its not easy for some one who wants to be a banker or actor to end up doing other available career they hate so much all because someone stood in the way of their success. They do not want to endup living their lives in regrets and wishing oh I should have done this and move on with my life doing what I love to do. So they succumb to pressure and still realize at the peak of their career that maybe they don’t desrve all these luxury because of how they got to the position, they feel guilty and feel less of themselves when they see their counterparts who are also good at their game but struggling to make it in life, because they didn’t give in to pressure. It’s that guilt that moves them to comeback and fight their molesters as seen in the case of R kelly and Bill cosB”
I am happy the #metoo movement is on and also I am patiently waiting for the triger of “regrets and tell” to kick off in Nigeria. You will be surprise to find some unexpected names on the list.
Chinyere Chinyere Susan MaduagwuMaduagwu
For The Workplace